1. |
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I'm finding out that isolation's just another word for self-doubt. Why do they call this company when I still feel so alone? I'm haunting all the same places with all of the same people and leaving your chair open for when you walk back in, shake the rain off of your winter coat, and sit down next to me just like you'd never left. I don't think that you'll ever really come back. I don't think that I'll ever really want it. I thought that part of my life was over when you left me at the lakeside park that one last time, and that I could build new relationships that meant something, but I'm still dwelling on how your bare hand lingered on the handle of my car door before you drove away.
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2. |
Berwick Street
02:03
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3. |
March
02:45
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Looking back, there's not much I could've done differently. I think about the day we walked to the art gallery downtown. Your dark hair curled over the shoulders of your pale pink dress as you paced between paintings. You asked me whether you should stay. It was better for you this way. I didn't mean that, but I wish that I had. Maybe, it would help with acceptance.
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4. |
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The farthest I'd ever been from home on my own when I was twenty was Kansas City. And, maybe I regret driving up I-35 to see you last October. Omaha was binding, but Lincoln sounded worse, and I don't blame you for taking off to Minnesota. I hope you don't come back. At least, not yet. Not until I've figured out who I am without you. My list of accomplishments isn't long enough for when I see you again. I wish I had something to show for all this time I spent alone.
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5. |
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Somehow, you're always surprised that I never finished all the things that I started with you, like reading Arthur Miller's 'Death of a Salesman' or watching Sherlock: season two. Every time I try, I just can't help but think of you holding his hand and lying in bed and reading books together that you'll actually finish and starting new things that you'll actually accomplish and I get scared.
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