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about

credits

released February 2, 2015

Nate Van Fleet played drums.
Andrea Villanueva played trumpet.
Ben Curttright played guitar and bass and piano and sang.

This album was recorded during December 2014 and January 2015 at Nate's house in Omaha, Ben's parents' house in Omaha, Ben's apartment in Lincoln, and Gnarnia in Chicago.

It exists thanks to the love and support of more people than could ever be mentioned by name.
Nate would like to thank his parents and coffee for making this record possible.
Andrea would like to thank Anna Serafini for being her husband and the Chicago emo community for calling her 'Andrea.'
Ben would like to thank his family and his roommate, John Klopping, for putting up with all the noise; his friends Dan Marino, Zach Tuimil, and Christopher Martinez for telling him about EQ; Lauren Lamatina, Erik Czaja, and Alissa Reynolds, for every way they helped the recording process; and Jorge Velez, Mark Garza, and Sam Krishnan, for believing in him.

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Naturally the foundation will bear your expenses Omaha, Nebraska

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Track Name: An apology is not an excuse, and I'm not sure which one I'm making
I wasn't what you expected, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I couldn't live up to my appearances, but it should be obvious by now that everyone is faking it, and how could you expect me to be any different? I've been spending most of my time walking lately, even when the sun's started setting at five. I'm spending more time getting from place to place in hopes that it'll help me feel less depressed, and on days when I can't work up the motivation, the energy to carry my bicycle down the thin white stairs of my one-bedroom apartment, I lay in bed all day and wish that I was dead.
Track Name: Miles, miles, miles
I almost threw up that night. I was driving home on the interstate alone. It was a quarter past four in the morning when I finally turned off to navigate the empty streets of downtown. My breath was fogging up the windshield as I waited for the stoplight to turn. I felt sick. I felt empty. You know the way it's been ever since I was eleven: when I get nervous, I just shake uncontrollably. The only thought I had when turning off on O Street was getting home to drown myself in blankets. I couldn't picture your face as you left me. The pain in your eyes was too much for me to handle. But, when I got there, I couldn't calm down, so I just lay awake.
Track Name: Week end
'Are you deaf? Are you blind?'
Track Name: Becky <3s Punky
I hold myself back because, honestly, I can't imagine how I'd feel if you read some of the things I wrote about you in the back of my black Moleskine journal. Some would bounce right off you like the petty value judgements they are; or, maybe I could explain just enough of how I feel to end us. Words can soften over time, but I don't think that I could say the same about your actions. It was two September twenty-seconds ago, but every time it crosses my mind, it feels immediate, like cold water splashed on my face from a muddy Omaha street on a summer afternoon when the sun should've been out.
Track Name: Spending the hours between three and four pacing back and forth across my apartment
The first time you said that you loved me was when we were just kids, and I know you've changed a lot since then. I still hear it in your voice when I hear it in my head. I know that no one else could mean it the way you did.
Track Name: We're all extras
Do you ever dream of the way the cold rain runs down the back of my neck? Because, I like to think that sometimes the grey clouds over my head can stretch all the way to you. Maybe it's just bad luck that everyone who cares about me lives so far away. Or maybe, it says more about my inability to maintain anything meaningful with anyone close to me. Maybe it's more about the flaws in my character and how I express them and how they affect me. Most of the people who say that they love me don't have to say so in spite of my problems. They have the benefit of hundreds of miles of Midwestern space and hours spent sitting alone in my apartment trying to adequately arrange my thoughts.
Track Name: Robot apartments! Invisible suburbs!
I never thought I'd find myself wishing I could go to bed as early as the sun sets in winter. I used to be a late-night person whose parents chided him for staying up past four talking on my cell phone and reading everything that I could get my hands on. I guess now I'm not a person at all, unless I'm doing something that you can see from a distance and be proud of; unless I'm doing something meaningful that isn't about you.